Our family has enjoyed English and Scottish country dancing since 1998. Here’s a picture of Ray and me at our dance group’s Christmas Ball back in 2016. We have missed dancing since his health problems began in January of 2023, but we both are looking forward to dancing again.
I was fascinated to learn in the last few years that Queen Elizabeth II was fond of country dancing. I also learned recently that Beatrix Potter’s husband, William Heelis, enjoyed this pastime. Ray says this kind of dancing is just geometry on the floor. It’s simple once you learn the basic steps. Most dances are just a combination of those steps rearranged in a variety of ways. To make it even easier, country dances have callers who tell you exactly what to do. One such call goes like this: “Forward 2, 3, 4 and Back 2, 3, 4.”
I realized several years ago that many homeschoolers of my era concentrated on the Forward 2, 3, 4 without enough emphasis on the Back 2, 3, 4. We spent much time thinking about our children and our future generations (the “Forward 2, 3, 4” folks) and not enough time honoring the “Back 2, 3, 4” who went before us. It takes a lot of old-fashioned gumption to homeschool. If we are not careful, all this gumption can make us prideful. We just might look back at our parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents and think we are so much better at this parenting thing than they were. It is easy to get puffed up and to forget the shoulders on which we stand, those of our mamas and daddies, their parents, and the generations before them. Christian homeschoolers who were not reared in Christian homes themselves may be especially vulnerable to this, but none of us are exempt. It’s easy for younger generations to think they are smarter than the generations before. This has been true for centuries. Its even tempting for younger generations of Christians to think they are more faithful Christians than their parents were.
The ancient Israelites were constantly reminded of those who had gone before. They knew that God was the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. They didn’t worship their ancestors, but they honored them. All of our parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents (aunts, uncles, and cousins, too) are flawed human beings. Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob were far from perfect. Some of our relatives are more flawed than others. Some have even been abusive. We may not be able to honor all of the individuals in the “Back 2, 3, 4” generations in the same way. For our own safety and the safety of our children, it may be necessary to honor some of them from afar.
The important thing is for everyone to look deeply into their own hearts and examine how we are honoring our own “Back 2, 3, 4” folks. My chance to honor my parents in person is gone now because my parents are no longer with us. Now I can only honor my parents’ memory and also honor Mother’s remaining sister and Daddy’s remaining sisters and their husbands. However, many of you still have living parents. I encourage you to ask yourself: Are they lonely? Do they have unmet needs? Am I making them a priority? Am I setting my children a good example? How will I feel someday if my children treat me the way I treat my mom and dad?
This subject was one of the first I wrote about when I began this blog in 2013. Here is an excerpt from a response a mother gave to that post long ago:
You have written on a subject that has been on my heart for several years now. I feel that this concept also applies to others close to us who have made a significant impact on our lives. I was fortunate in growing up being taught to respect and honor those people as well as those before me. I don’t recall ever being specifically told to do so but I saw it. We always helped out my living grandparents. . . .
My mother had items given her by people dear to her that she treasured, and she taught me to do the same with items special to me. Keeping in touch with those people was also something she did. We always went to the funeral home when someone died. I didn’t realize until many years later this showed love and respect not only for the deceased but for the family left behind also. My parents are gone now and I still go to the funeral home like this. In one way I represent them when I go because they aren’t here to go.
Also as people have gone before me out of this life, I have tried to learn from this to show my children that it is important to honor those we love while they are here and tell them how we feel and what special impact they have had on us. . . .
We need to be aware that while we may do some things better than those before us, we should also be humbled by the fact that our grandmothers could get up before daybreak, milk, cook breakfast, sew all the clothing for their family that included 10 children, live to bury several before they died, survive the Great Depression, work outdoors, keep house, and do it all with very little or no electricity and still manage to be happy, healthy and live to an old age. When we put ourselves in that light it’s easy to see that we may have some things down that perhaps they didn’t but they had it down much more than we do.
From my conversations with people I know, I believe that Satan is working overtime to separate generations. A friend in the medical field told me recently that two of their elderly patients had passed away in the previous few days and both had a child or children who had little or no interaction with them. A friend who volunteers many times a month in the local nursing home tells me of patients who never have visitors. Friends tell me of their deeply painful relationships with their adult children. This breaks my heart. More importantly, it breaks the heart of our heavenly Father who longs for the hearts of “fathers to [turn] to their children and the hearts of the children to their fathers” (Malachi 4:6).
Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, that your days may be prolonged and that it may go well with you on the land which the Lord your God gives you. Deuteronomy 5:16
Our family has enjoyed English and Scottish country dancing since 1998. Here’s a picture of Ray and me at our dance group’s Christmas Ball back in 2016. We have missed dancing since his health problems began in January of 2023, but we both are looking forward to dancing again.
I was fascinated to learn in the last few years that Queen Elizabeth II was fond of country dancing. I also learned recently that Beatrix Potter’s husband, William Heelis, enjoyed this pastime. Ray says this kind of dancing is just geometry on the floor. It’s simple once you learn the basic steps. Most dances are just a combination of those steps rearranged in a variety of ways. To make it even easier, country dances have callers who tell you exactly what to do. One such call goes like this: “Forward 2, 3, 4 and Back 2, 3, 4.”
I realized several years ago that many homeschoolers of my era concentrated on the Forward 2, 3, 4 without enough emphasis on the Back 2, 3, 4. We spent much time thinking about our children and our future generations (the “Forward 2, 3, 4” folks) and not enough time honoring the “Back 2, 3, 4” who went before us. It takes a lot of old-fashioned gumption to homeschool. If we are not careful, all this gumption can make us prideful. We just might look back at our parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents and think we are so much better at this parenting thing than they were. It is easy to get puffed up and to forget the shoulders on which we stand, those of our mamas and daddies, their parents, and the generations before them. Christian homeschoolers who were not reared in Christian homes themselves may be especially vulnerable to this, but none of us are exempt. It’s easy for younger generations to think they are smarter than the generations before. This has been true for centuries. Its even tempting for younger generations of Christians to think they are more faithful Christians than their parents were.
The ancient Israelites were constantly reminded of those who had gone before. They knew that God was the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. They didn’t worship their ancestors, but they honored them. All of our parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents (aunts, uncles, and cousins, too) are flawed human beings. Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob were far from perfect. Some of our relatives are more flawed than others. Some have even been abusive. We may not be able to honor all of the individuals in the “Back 2, 3, 4” generations in the same way. For our own safety and the safety of our children, it may be necessary to honor some of them from afar.
The important thing is for everyone to look deeply into their own hearts and examine how we are honoring our own “Back 2, 3, 4” folks. My chance to honor my parents in person is gone now because my parents are no longer with us. Now I can only honor my parents’ memory and also honor Mother’s remaining sister and Daddy’s remaining sisters and their husbands. However, many of you still have living parents. I encourage you to ask yourself: Are they lonely? Do they have unmet needs? Am I making them a priority? Am I setting my children a good example? How will I feel someday if my children treat me the way I treat my mom and dad?
This subject was one of the first I wrote about when I began this blog in 2013. Here is an excerpt from a response a mother gave to that post long ago:
You have written on a subject that has been on my heart for several years now. I feel that this concept also applies to others close to us who have made a significant impact on our lives. I was fortunate in growing up being taught to respect and honor those people as well as those before me. I don’t recall ever being specifically told to do so but I saw it. We always helped out my living grandparents. . . .
My mother had items given her by people dear to her that she treasured, and she taught me to do the same with items special to me. Keeping in touch with those people was also something she did. We always went to the funeral home when someone died. I didn’t realize until many years later this showed love and respect not only for the deceased but for the family left behind also. My parents are gone now and I still go to the funeral home like this. In one way I represent them when I go because they aren’t here to go.
Also as people have gone before me out of this life, I have tried to learn from this to show my children that it is important to honor those we love while they are here and tell them how we feel and what special impact they have had on us. . . .
We need to be aware that while we may do some things better than those before us, we should also be humbled by the fact that our grandmothers could get up before daybreak, milk, cook breakfast, sew all the clothing for their family that included 10 children, live to bury several before they died, survive the Great Depression, work outdoors, keep house, and do it all with very little or no electricity and still manage to be happy, healthy and live to an old age. When we put ourselves in that light it’s easy to see that we may have some things down that perhaps they didn’t but they had it down much more than we do.
From my conversations with people I know, I believe that Satan is working overtime to separate generations. A friend in the medical field told me recently that two of their elderly patients had passed away in the previous few days and both had a child or children who had little or no interaction with them. A friend who volunteers many times a month in the local nursing home tells me of patients who never have visitors. Friends tell me of their deeply painful relationships with their adult children. This breaks my heart. More importantly, it breaks the heart of our heavenly Father who longs for the hearts of “fathers to [turn] to their children and the hearts of the children to their fathers” (Malachi 4:6).
Honor your father and your mother,
as the Lord your God has commanded you,
that your days may be prolonged
and that it may go well with you
on the land which the Lord your God gives you.
Deuteronomy 5:16