Choices We Own
I remember a time when watching a moving picture on a screen was something a bit special.
I remember when my parents bought our first television, a large, wooden console model — black and white, of course.
I remember vividly (no pun intended) the first time I saw color television. Our Girl Scout troop rode twenty miles to Nashville to be in the audience at a Bozo the Clown show. Before we went into the studio to take our seats on the bleachers, we spent a few moments in the WSM Channel 4 lobby and saw a real color television set!
Now, of course, screens are so plentiful that it is hard to get away from them. I was recently in a waiting room with an ever-present screen hanging on the wall. The show about a couple seeking the perfect home in a resort location in Costa Rica sounded innocuous enough, but, alas, the world is always with us. The middle-aged woman told the real estate agent, “He proposed to me here. He was so drunk that he proposed. And I was so drunk, I accepted.”
In life we have the opportunity to make many conscious choices. One goal of maturity for ourselves and our children is coming to the point where we can:
- Weigh options,
- Make conscious choices, and then
- Own the choices we make.
When the woman looking for a house in Costa Rica said that he was so drunk, he asked, and she was so drunk, she accepted, she subtly revealed the common practice of not being completely willing to take responsibility for the choices we make.
Many people drift through life, seeing themselves as victims. Like all of us, they make moment by moment choices all the time. They just don’t own those choices as their own. When Jesus suffered for us, He knew He was making the choice to do that. As the hymn says, “He could have called ten thousand angels to destroy the world and set Him free, but He died alone for you and me.”
Our unwillingness to take responsibility begins in childhood. When confronted with the evidence that Sally hit Tommy, has your Sally ever said, “Tommy hit me first,” rather than the more accurate and mature, “Yes, when Tommy hit me, I weighed my options and made the conscious decision to hit Tommy back?”
A new freedom comes to each of us — and to our children — when we learn to make a choice and own it, no longer seeing ourselves as victims of the choices other people make.
Who is the man who fears the Lord?
He will instruct him in the way he should choose.
Psalm 25:12
What a great reminder, Charlene! Beautifully written as well. Thank you.
Thank you so much for this kind affirmation.
I always wished I could go to the Bozo show as a child. Goodness be, the lady on Romper Room never even saw me! :)). LOL
Your post reminded me of a time I was so ashamed of one of my children, yet in the end I became even more proud.
When my son was 16 he and some friends went to a local fast food restaurant on a Friday night. Just so happened some boys from a neighboring/rival town decided to stop in and see if they could start a bit of trouble, which they did, over NOTHING! Yep, my son ended up spending about 5 hours in jail. I was mortified.
Less than a week later we were grocery shopping when my son walks up to a man unknown to me, shakes his hand and thanks him for what he had done. The man looked puzzled and said to my son, he didn’t figure he’d want to speak to him after what had happened. My son said matter of factly “sir it wasn’t your fault, I was the one acting foolish”. Turns out, this man was my son’s arresting officer.
My son took responsibility for what he had done and that made me proud.
Blessings,
Johnna. (See why she never saw me in that mirror)