Family Life Well Lived

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Early this week, I told you about our friend David who was a Vietnam veteran. David passed away this week. He was buried yesterday. Ray had the privilege of speaking at his funeral, including the privilege of reading a letter his granddaughter Kyleigh wrote to her grandfather to be read at his funeral. It is a beautiful description of family life well lived. When I asked her if I could share her letter with you, she teared up and was thrilled that others will get to read about her Papa. This letter deeply touched my heart.

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Papa,

There aren’t enough words in this world to describe how deeply you will be missed. You were the best Papa any of us could have ever asked for. From our very first memories, you were there—always. Nana kept asking us to tell you what our favorite memory with you was . . . truth is, we couldn’t pick just one.

Every memory, every milestone in our lives, includes you. Every road trip, ball game, holiday, vacation—every weekend at Nana and Papa’s—we cherish every single one of them. Most people aren’t fortunate enough to have a relationship with their grandparents, let alone ones who are more like second parents. Grandparents who always prioritized family at every life event, even the ordinary ones—not because they had to, but because they wanted to.

You and Nana were always front row, always present, always cheering us on.

There isn’t a memory we have that doesn’t include you. We will cherish every moment we were blessed to spend with you and will forever be grateful for that gift.

We will carry your memories, your advice, and the blessings you poured into our lives for the rest of our days. You made our family whole. You were a man of God, a leader, a protector, and someone every one of us was honored to look up to.

And not only were you the best Papa—you were the best dad. Jessica and Seth are living proof of that. The way they love, the way they give, the way they show up for others—it all comes from you. Your legacy continues through them, and because of that, it will continue through all of us.

Our hearts ache for you, Papa, but we know you are at peace in Heaven. We will carry you with us in everything we do. I will brag for the rest of my life about the incredible man I had the blessing of loving for 25 years.

We will take care of Nana down here—just like you would want. You raised us to be strong and to lean on each other. We miss you more than words could every say. If love alone could’ve kept you here, you would’ve stayed forever, but we are at peace knowing you are free from pain and suffering.

And lastly, our sweet Papa—we will hold your love close forever. You’ll walk beside us in every step we take. Goodbyes aren’t forever; they simply mean we’ll keep missing you . . . until the day we see you again.

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I told Kyleigh that I would like to share her letter to help other grandparents and grandchildren learn how to have this same kind of experience. It is packed with lessons for grandparents and grandchildren, and for parents, too. Nana and Papa could be there for their grandchildren because all three generations loved each other enough to work together. Nana and Papa and their children and children-in-law prioritized multi-generational family time. Road trips, holiday celebrations, vacations, and weekends with Nana and Papa take planning, cooperation, communication, and sacrifice, the kind of self-sacrifice described in Philippians:

Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit,
but with humility of mind regard one another
as more important than yourselves;
do not merely look out for your own personal interests,
but also for the interests of others.
Philippians 2:3-4

In most families, road trips, holiday celebrations, vacations, and weekends with Nana and Papa take grace and forgiveness.

Be kind to one another, tender-hearted,
forgiving each other, just as God in Christ
also has forgiven you.
Ephesians 4:32

In most families, road trips, holiday celebrations, vacations, and weekends with Nana and Papa take second chances (and third and fourth and fortieth chances). Jesus taught his apostle Peter about that in Matthew 18:

Then Peter came and said to Him,
“Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me
and I forgive him? Up to seven times?”
Jesus said to him,
“I do not say to you, up to seven times,
but up to seventy times seven.
Matthew 18:21-22

Ray and I love Kyleigh’s Nana and Papa. What a blessing for me to share Kyleigh’s description of their family life well lived.

Grandchildren are the crown of old men,
And the glory of sons is their fathers.
Proverbs 17:6

 

 

 

 

 

 

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