Good Manners Is Respect and Honor in Action

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Recently Ray and I were at a concert in a basketball arena. We arrived early and had plenty of room on our bleacher seats . . .

. . . until time for the concert grew close. Soon we were packed in between two strangers. Ray and I sat side by side with Ray on my right. A woman sat on Ray’s left and a man on my right. Wondering if Ray had any room to spare, I asked if he could scoot over a bit.

“I’m pushing etiquette as it is,” he said. I almost rolled off my seat in laughter. Our solution was to switch places. If we had to be pushing etiquette, we decided it was better for Ray to push it with a man and me with a woman! Hilarious!

So, how about etiquette? Do manners matter? I love hearkening back to those etiquette lessons I learned when I was growing up. Because of those, I know certain things and I don’t have to think them through:

Whose name to say first in an introduction? Either the woman or the person who is older.

Who gets on or off the elevator first? Either the woman or the person who is older.

Who holds the door when two people are going through it? Either the man or the younger person.

And other questions that need split-second answers.

Should we teach manners to our kids? I believe we absolutely should. Good manners is respect and honor in action.

God tells us how He feels about disrespect and dishonor. When He foretold the terrible days to come when the Israelites would lose the promised land, this is how He described the heathen nation that would conquer them:

The Lord will bring a nation against you from afar,
from the end of the earth, as the eagle swoops down,
a nation whose language you shall not understand, 
 a nation of fierce countenance
who will have no respect for the old,
nor show favor to the young.
Deuteronomy 28:49-50

His heartbreaking words about people who don’t respect Him also teach us about respect for people.

“A son honors his father, and a servant his master.
Then if I am a father, where is My honor?
And if I am a master, where is My respect?”
says the Lord of hosts to you,
“O priests who despise My name.” 
Micah 1:6

Good manners reveal our love for another person. The “love chapter” in 1 Corinthians tells us that love “does not act unbecomingly.”

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous;
love does not brag and is not arrogant, 
 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, 
does not take into account a wrong suffered . . .
1 Corinthians 13:4-6

The goal of our instructions about manners is a well-mannered heart, so that our children:

Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit,
but with humility of mind
regard one another as more important than yourselves;
do not merely look out for your own personal interests,
but also for the interests of others.  
Philippians 2:3-4

A well-mannered heart knows just what to do in any situation.

Honor all people, love the brotherhood,
fear God, honor the king.
1 Peter 2:17

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