Hand in Hand

Share Now

On Ray’s birthday, Mary Evelyn and her family gave him a gift certificate: dinner for Ray, Mother, and me followed by a concert in the park. We had our outing this past Monday night.

While we ate at the restaurant, I kept hearing female voices directly behind me complimenting our grandchildren. When one of them said something to the effect of, “They’re cute when they’re little, but then they grow up . . . ,” I cringed. I don’t like that sentiment. I wonder if it is something of a self-fulfilling prophecy sometimes.

While I was holding our littlest grandbaby after dinner, I turned sideways in my chair and was finally able to see the source of the voices–two sweet older ladies. They started talking to me about our grandchildren. I’m sure I was beaming. They really were sweet and I forgot about the comment that made me cringe.

One of the ladies asked how anyone could hurt a child like that. We have probably all had those thoughts.

Jesus talked about how to treat children:

“See that you do not despise one of these little ones,
for I say to you that their angels in heaven
continually see the face of My Father who is in heaven.
Matthew 18:10

When these little ones grow up, the responsibility eventually shifts the other direction. When Paul writes to Timothy about how the church is to care for widows in I Timothy 5, he teaches:

But if any widow has children or grandchildren,
they must first learn to practice piety in regard to their own family
and to make some return to their parents;
for this is acceptable in the sight of God. (verse 4)

But if anyone does not provide for his own,
and especially for those of his household,
he has denied the faith
and is worse than an unbeliever. (verse 8)

Some homeschooling families live daily with responsibilities for both generations, the children they are rearing and the parents who reared them. Ray and I know what that is like, because we have lived it, too. It is easy to feel guilty while living with all of that responsibility because we sometimes think that everyone is suffering and no one is getting what they need.

However, we must step back and think about the wisdom of our Creator. He is the one Who gave the responsibilities. He must know that it can work. In fact, I believe there are many blessings for everyone in that situation.

I am not rearing children anymore, but I am blessed to have my mother here with us and to see her interact often with her great-grandchildren. At the concert Monday night, three generations of adults sat in our lawn chairs with Wesley content in his great-grandmother’s lap and Clara hopping into one lap after another when she wasn’t quietly pretending her own secret adventures on the terrace stones at our feet.

We are blessed to be in a stage now where Mother can enjoy many things we enjoy. We know firsthand from our experience with Ray’s daddy that days may come that are far different. The temptation is to believe that a lifestyle with more than two generations is burdensome or even impossible. There is more than one way for people to lovingly “provide for their own,” but provide we must.

God knows us better than we know ourselves. When we do what He says, the multi-generational lifestyle fits like the hand of a great-grandchild in the hand of a great-grandmother–or like the hand of one of God’s children in the hand of her heavenly Father.

You will make known to me the path of life;
In Your presence is fullness of joy;
In Your right hand there are pleasures forever.
Psalm 16:11

Share Now