“I Was Close to Her”
I was excited to receive a baby shower invitation recently for a young man, whom I have known for several years, and his wife, whom I have just begun getting to know since their marriage in 2021. I’ll call the young man Tyler. We have many connections with Tyler. He and his sisters were homeschooled or are still being homeschooled. His parents are friends. Tyler used Notgrass History himself and, to my delight, one of his sisters used America the Beautiful for fifth grade the first year it was available. One summer Tyler traveled to homeschool conventions with Ray and me. He was a good worker and a fun companion. Tyler majored in history at Bryan College. Today he teaches social studies at a small Christian academy. Again to our delight, he uses Notgrass History curriculum in his classes.
After the shower, I enjoyed visiting with Tyler’s mom, who is about to become a grandmother for the first time and who is still homeschooling his two youngest sisters. One important topic was what this new grandbaby is going to call her. Grandparent names were easy for Ray and me. His own grandfather was Notty to Ray and Ray’s brother, who were his only grandchildren, but it was also his nickname to folks all over Columbia, Tennessee.
I had long known I wanted our grandchildren to call me Little Mama because that was what Mrs. Perry’s grandchildren called her. From the time I was four until I was 14, our family lived in a duplex that my paternal grandfather owned. Daddy Leland’s grocery store faced Main Street. Our backyard was behind the Boyd’s Market parking lot and our house faced Vine Street. Our family occupied most of the house. Mrs. Perry lived in two rooms and a bath on one side of the house and used one of the bedrooms off of our upstairs hall for storage.
Our parents almost never left Steve and me with a babysitter. We occasionally stayed with our paternal grandparents. The only other person I remember taking care of us was Mrs. Perry, on the rare Monday nights when our parents didn’t take us with them on their weekly shopping trips in Nashville. Steve and I thought that elderly Mrs. Perry was top notch. We thought it was especially nice when her daughter and her daughter’s husband came visiting with their chubby pug.
As it turned out, Little Mama was a bit too long for our now 11-year-old granddaughter, who began calling me simply Little. Actually, she almost sang a high note “Little,” followed by “Little, Little, Little” in a lower note. Our now-ten-year-old grandson, on the other hand, began calling me simply “Mama.” I thought “Mama” would never do, since I didn’t want to seem to be competing with his mama, so I suggested that we drop the Mama and just call me Little. That’s what stuck.
Tyler’s mom is in a quite a quandary about her new name. She has thought of what I think is an adorable takeoff on her name, but some of her family members don’t like that one at all. We begin life with the name our parents give us, so this picking out a name for ourselves can be a challenge.
During the conversation, we asked another grandmother what her children call her. “Mimi,” she replied. “I had a Mimi and I was close to her.”
There you have it. That’s the ticket. Whatever grandchildren call their grandparents, the important thing is that last part: “I was close to her [or him].”
Thomas Waterman Wood painted Sunday Morning around 1877. I like to think of it as a grandmother with her granddaughter. I used the painting to illustrate “Childhood Reminiscences” by Susie King Taylor in We the People, the primary source book that accompanies America the Beautiful. Susie King Taylor was born into slavery in Georgia but she was reared by her free grandmother. Taylor served as a nurse with a regiment of African American soldiers fighting with the Union Army during the Civil War. Her husband, Edward King, was a member of that regiment. In 1902 she published her memoirs, Reminiscences of My Life in Camp with the 33rd United States Colored Troops, Late 1st S.C. Volunteers. She began her memoirs with a history of her family, memories of her childhood, and the beginning of the Civil War.
You can’t control the decisions that your children’s grandparents make about their relationships with your children, but I encourage you to do this: As far as it depends on you, give your children the precious gift of time to be close to their grandparents.
Grandchildren are the crown of old men,
And the glory of sons is their fathers.
Proverbs 17:6
For I am mindful of the sincere faith within you,
which first dwelt in your grandmother Lois
and your mother Eunice,
and I am sure that it is in you as well.
2 Timothy 1:5
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