Loving Enough to Understand
Every day I use one cotton ball in my morning ablutions. I usually keep an ample supply. We buy most everyday items at our local Dollar General, but when I need something I can’t find there, Walmart.com is a great source for folks like us who live 35 minutes from the nearest Walmart.
When my stock got low recently, I ordered more from Walmart.com, choosing “organic super jumbo cotton balls.” The product description read, “200 Count: Comes in a convenient pack for ample supply” — sounded good to me.
I never wish for better communication when I order from Walmart. The number of emails and texts is almost comical. My organic super jumbo cotton balls did not ship with the other items I ordered that day. I think they may have been literally on the proverbial slow boat from China. Almost two weeks before they arrived, I got an email with the subject line, “Shipped: Organic Super Jumbo Cotton Balls.”
When they finally came, I was shocked by the little plastic bag. Inside were 200 of these.
It was hilarious to receive my email: “Your Super Jumbo Cotton Balls have arrived.” Personally, I think a better description would be organic itty-bitty cotton balls. In this case, Walmart communicated most of the facts thoroughly and efficiently with just one exception—the description of the product!
I have gotten such a kick out of my organic super jumbo cotton balls. It was fun when a guest recently needed a cotton ball. I haven’t gotten around to buying more, so I got to see her face when I handed her an itty-bitty cotton ball and told her my story.
I’m not upset with Walmart. I rarely write a review, but I did this time. I told how pleased I am generally with my shopping experience with them, but that they had simply missed it on this one and should find another supplier.
If only I could be that calm every time I experience miscommunication. It happens so often in our interactions with other human beings. We know what we mean, but it is often very hard to get what is in our heads into the heads of our listeners. We are wise to remember that it is just as hard for other people to get what is inside their heads into ours.
Have you ever asked your husband to pick up something at the store and been surprised when what he has in his hand when he walks into the kitchen is nothing like what you thought you asked him to get? Have you ever given your child an assignment, and he thought you meant something completely different? Sometimes it feels that even though your whole family speaks English, everyone really speaks a different language. In some ways, we do.
Speaking clearly and listening attentively certainly help, but healthy communication takes much more. We all know that it is one thing to hear and another to understand. At the root of understanding is a deep love and respect for the person we are hearing and whom we want to hear us. We must love enough to seek to understand in everyday speech and when others try to share their hearts. These passages from God’s Word will help.
There is one who speaks rashly like the thrusts of a sword,
But the tongue of the wise brings healing.
Proverbs 12:18
A fool does not delight in understanding,
But only in revealing his own mind.
Proverbs 18:2
. . . everyone must be quick to hear,
slow to speak and slow to anger . . .
James 1:19b
Let no unwholesome word
proceed from your mouth,
but only such a word as is good for edification
according to the need of the moment,
so that it will give grace to those who hear.
Ephesians 4:29
Be devoted to one another in brotherly love;
give preference to one another in honor . . .
Romans 12:10
I had just finished writing this post when I saw Ray coming down the stairs after his own morning ablutions. Earlier I had asked if he wanted to wear our matching Alaska sweatshirts. I meant the beige sweatshirt with the totem pole on the front, but he thought I meant the slightly heavy, long sleeve, green Alaska shirts we got on clearance. He had seen mine lying on a chair at the bottom of the stairs where I had laid it to put away after wearing it the night before. I said, “Guess what I’m writing about in my blog post for Monday—communication!” I thought I had spoken clearly; Ray was paying attention to what he saw with his eyes and his ears. Ah, communication! It’s still funny after going on 51 years! (Ray offered to change, but I hated to ask him, since he’s already dressed. I am typing with a smile on my face before I go upstairs to pick out pants to go with my slightly heavy, long sleeve, green Alaska shirt we got on clearance.)
A joyful heart is good medicine . . .
Proverbs 17:22