Teaching Children to Control Their Anger
When our song leader Glen led us in “Angry Words” this past Sunday, the hymn took me back to the days of my childhood when we sang:
Angry words! O let them never
From the tongue unbridled slip;
May the heart’s best impulse ever
Check them ere they soil the lip.
Refrain
“Love one another,”
thus saith the Savior;
Children, obey the Father’s blest command;
“Love one another,”
thus saith the Savior;
Children, obey the blest command.
Love is much too pure and holy,
Friendship is too sacred far,
For a moment’s reckless folly
Thus to desolate and mar.
Refrain
Angry words are lightly spoken
Bitt’rest thoughts are rashly stirred,
Brightest links of life are broken
By a single angry word.
Refrain
The words are always convicting.
The temptation to say angry words begins early, as illustrated in this drawing by Danish artist Lorenz Frolich who lived from 1820 to 1908.
I remember the days when Ray and I drove a minivan when they had only one passenger door in the back. Every week we prevented arguments and angry words by rotating which child got to sit in the coveted spot beside the door. The last spanking I remember my mother giving me followed an argument with my little brother when I was about 12 years old. When our children were little and I heard them arguing, I used to sing “Be ye kind, be ye kind, be ye kind to one another,” a song based on the beginning of Ephesians 4:32 in the King James Version. Just a few days ago, I asked some of our grandchildren if I was going to have to sing the “Be Ye Kind” song.
The many verses about controlling our anger tells us that God understands the temptation and cared about us enough to warn us against letting our anger go unchecked.
Do not be eager in your heart to be angry,
For anger resides in the bosom of fools.
Ecclesiastes 7:9
A gentle answer turns away wrath,
But a harsh word stirs up anger.
The tongue of the wise makes knowledge acceptable,
But the mouth of fools spouts folly.
Proverbs 15:1-2
A fool always loses his temper,
But a wise man holds it back.
Proverbs 29:11
He who is slow to anger has great understanding,
But he who is quick-tempered exalts folly.
A tranquil heart is life to the body,
But passion is rottenness to the bones.
Proverbs 14:29-30
You know this, my beloved brothers and sisters.
Now everyone must be quick to hear,
slow to speak, and slow to anger;
for a man’s anger does not bring about
the righteousness of God.
James 1:19-20
I know you get tired of breaking up arguments, but it’s worth it. Hang in there! You are doing very important work every day as you teach your children:
- To let their hearts’ best impulses check angry words before they soil the lip.
- To remember that friendship is far too sacred for a moment’s reckless folly to mar it.
- That the brightest links of life can be broken by a single angry word.
- That Jesus taught us the Father’s blest command to love one another.
While we teach them, we are reminding ourselves of the same lessons.
“A new commandment I give to you,
that you love one another,
even as I have loved you,
that you also love one another.
By this all men will know
that you are My disciples,
if you have love for one another.”
John 13:34-35