This Is What We Wanted for Our Children
When Ray and I were first married, our church hosted a weekend seminar with a Christian counselor. I kid you not; the name of this godly and wise man was Dr. Looney.
Two things from the seminar have stuck with me these 45 years:
- Dr. Looney gave each of us a BAND-AID® to remind us to be people who offer kindness to others.
- He told us that many people carry past hurts around like a sack of rocks and that they sometimes take the rocks out and throw them at other people.
I brought my BAND-AID® home and stuck it on my Better Homes and Gardens cookbook, where it has remained since then–well, at least what is left of it.
I have often used Dr. Looney’s sack of rocks illustration to describe our early homeschool experience. It wasn’t an exact parallel (we didn’t throw the rocks at anybody), but I came to realize that during our first two years, we carried our homeschooling responsibilities around like a big sack of rocks—and we felt very burdened by that sack.
When we finally decided to make homeschooling who we were instead of what we did, we wholeheartedly adopted a goal that I have shared with you many times:
That we, our children and their spouses, our grandchildren and their spouses, and every succeeding generation live as Christians on earth and live forever in Heaven with our God and with each other.
During our “Homeschooling as a Lifestyle” webinar on Tuesday, I mentioned a list of objectives I wrote down to help us reach that goal. Here’s the list of what we wanted for our children:
- Be faithful to Jesus.
- Care about others and show it in concrete ways.
- Be responsible adults.
- Love the church and build it up.
- Have good etiquette and manners.
- Help others come to know Jesus.
- Know how to have fun.
- Have good character.
- Learn as a lifestyle.
- Marry strong Christians.
- Have personal holiness and purity.
- Raise Christian children.
- Have good marriage and parenting skills.
- Be uniquely God’s man or woman.
- Know about God’s creation.
- Learn about the cultures of the world.
- Know history.
- Love reading.
- Appreciate art and music.
- Learn to communicate.
- Be interesting.
- Take care of their bodies.
- Learn the math they need to know.
As we continued to homeschool with defined purpose and freedom, we met our state course requirements, but meeting those was not our primary purpose. There had to be a why behind what we did. The why made all the difference.
The goal and the objectives brought us clarity. They helped us to lay down that sack of rocks we had carried. They helped us to become homeschoolers instead of strapping on a burden. My prayer is that God will help you lay down any sack that feels heavy on your back. Remember the words of our Savior:
Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden,
and I will give you rest.
Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me,
for I am gentle and humble in heart,
and you will find rest for your souls.
For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.
Matthew 11:28-30
Watch a replay of our webinar:
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What a wonderful approach to homeschooling, and what a beautifully simple list! This obviously worked well for your family. I wish I could read/learn more about how your typical day-to-day lives went when you were homeschooling…what this approach “looked like” on a day-by-day basis!
Thank you, Betsy. I was thinking about writing about some of the “day-by-day basis” of our homeschool just last night. Let me think some more about how I might do that and I’ll see if I can work some of those ideas in soon.
Thank you Charlene. I was just thinking about writing down our mission statement as a family. Your goal and objectives are lovely and bright. Thank you for sharing your stories and encouragement. I’d also love to hear about your days. I’m learning more and more this life is about loving relationships.
Writing this down made a huge difference in our lives. I like the idea of “lovely and bright.” Thank you for the encouragement.
I think I’ve started this process. On the inside of my “baking” cupboard are large post-it notes with recipes I need regularly. In the middle is a note: “What is my end goal? I have been forgiven much.” It is so easy for me to get distracted and even easier to forget my children’s frailty is similar to my own. But I’m forever too distracted to flesh it out into a comprehensive list like this. Thanks for the starter!
You are welcome, Megan.
i would love to hear more about “teaching them the math they need to know.”
LOVE this post. I also homeschool and wish I’d been able to read this post when we first started. I have one that graduated a couple of years ago and now in Bible college. My middle son is going to graduate this May. My youngest is in 10th grade this year.
Your goals and objects really do bring clarity of homeschooling. Love it so much!
Thank you, Rhonda. What an encouraging response to the homeschool to do list. Congratulations on a job well done!