When Mamas Embarrass Their Children
On Monday night, I was in a meeting at the home of a pretty, confident, exuberant, friend who is a homeschool mom. I’ll call my friend Susan. I have told you about this group before. Susan and two other friends invite many ladies to Susan’s house every two or three months. During our two or three hours together, they share with us from Scripture, teach us what they are learning about healthy ways to feed their families, and then serve us a supper of healthy treats.
As I was leaving, Susan offered for me to take a snack home to Ray. I suggested a couple of chocolate mini-muffins and she came back with a waxed paper bag — perhaps the first unbleached waxed paper bag I have ever seen.
As I took the bag, my mind went back thirty years and I told her a story about a time I inadvertantly embarrassed one of our children. Susan’s mind flew back, too. She said that her parents went through a whole-food stage and that for a while her parents sold products from a well-known supplement company. During this phase, her mother made homemade bread. Susan said that she used to hide behind her lunch box to eat her homemade bread sandwich.
She said, “I was a red-headed, left-handed, preacher’s kid!” To add insult to injury, she had to eat homemade bread!
Two very well-intentioned mamas — Susan’s mother and I — made well-intentioned decisions and both of us mortified our children.
We mamas have so many things to do. Among them is keeping our hearts in tune to our children’s feelings, feelings that matter — and are remembered for decades to come. Another of the things we have to do is to make sure, as best we can, that we don’t embarrass them intentionally.
Sometimes a child just has to be embarrassed, such as when friends tease because he can’t be involved in something that is immoral or that is dangerous in some other way. That embarrassment is something they just have to endure while we gently teach about God’s way and offer loving comfort and help. However, whenever I can avoid embarrassing a child, I want to show my love by doing so.
Fathers, do not exasperate your children
so that they will not lose heart.
Colossians 3:21
I’ve always thought God didn’t want us mamas doing that either.
Too funny! I was also a shy middle schooler with homemade whole wheat bread, dried apples, and homemade granola in my lunch! I often secretly longed for the white Wonder Bread sandwiches my friends took in their lunches, and for their bags of Cheetos and DingDongs. In talking with one of my friends several years ago, we laughed together as we discovered that she secretly longed for my homemade whole wheat bread! My sandwiches were on “cute” little slices, as my mom made them in mini loaf pans to get her deliciously dense bread dough to rise with freshly-ground wheat flour. My friend told me that she also loved coming over to my house and that our big bucket of dried apples was one of her favorite treats! Talk about a classic case of “the grass is greener on the other side of the fence”! Thanks for making me smile today and for reminding me to thank God for my amazing mother who loved us too much to feed us white Wonder Bread! 🙂 Blessings to you this Thanksgiving, Charlene…I am thankful for your daily encouragement, as I am homeschooling high school and trying to figure out how that works for our family. Thank you! -Jill-
Thank you for a great story, Jill, and for the very kind encouragement.