A Christmas Welcome

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Christmas is a time for visiting. On Christmas Eve in 1930, little Kitty Murray and Harry G. Holme, both 6 years old, visited President Herbert Hoover’s grandchildren, Peggy Ann and Herbert Hoover III, who were visiting their grandparents at the White House.

Courtesy of the Library of Congress

This c. 1897 stereoscopic picture depicts Grandpa visiting his grandchildren on Christmas morning.

Courtesy of the Library of Congress

When we had our children between 1979 and 1983, it was common practice for friends to come for a first visit when the babies were only a few days old. Baby books even had places to write the names of baby’s first visitors. It was a sweet custom. Our family doctor was the most surprising early visitor we had after the birth of one of our children. He didn’t call ahead. I simply heard a knock at the front door and was surprised to see him standing there. This child had had a brief breathing issue while we were still in the hospital, so he stopped by to check on her. What kindness.

Jesus’ first visitors came as soon as they heard the news about His birth from the angel of the Lord and the heavenly host.

So they came in a hurry
and found their way to Mary and Joseph,
and the baby as He lay in the manger.
Luke 2:16

I love to visit in other people’s homes, and I love for others to visit us. Each year Ray and I look forward to the open house one of our elders and his wife hold during the Christmas holidays. Here we are at their open house this past Sunday evening.

Whether folks are sitting on their front porch on a summer afternoon or hurrying through the cold to reach their front door at Christmastime, Gary and Carolyn’s hearts and home say, “Welcome!” They have taken God’s admonition to practice hospitality to heart.

Be devoted to one another in brotherly love;
give preference to one another in honor;
not lagging behind in diligence, fervent in spirit,
serving the Lord; rejoicing in hope,
persevering in tribulation, devoted to prayer,
contributing to the needs of the saints,
practicing hospitality.
Romans 12:10-13

I want my own heart and home always to say, “Welcome!” too.

During the years that our family lived away from Tennessee, we always looked forward to visits from my parents. They both worked fulltime and it was a great sacrifice for them to come so far during the short time that they had off from work. The sacrifice touched me deeply. I remember telling my friends often how much I appreciated it.

Christmas has always been a busy time for me. I love the season very much and choose to fill the hours very full. The best of those hours are in the company of those who are dearest to me and the very best are the ones in their home or ours.

I have been writing about ways for parents and adult children to relate well together. When I share an idea, such as my idea about calling every day, please know that I am very sorry for all who live in troubled families who can’t be as close as they would like to be, either physically close or emotionally close. I feel deep compassion and empathy for you. I don’t want you ever to feel unfairly judged by what I write. I simply want to encourage families to be as close as they can and to cherish every moment that they can have together.

While it is my purpose to relate to you readers with as much understanding as possible, I don’t know every situation. Behind every word I write is a deep love for you and a deep compassion for you and for those you hold most dear. I appreciate those of you who write to help me understand your own unique circumstances. I know that those unique circumstances sometimes make chosen distance necessary.

I also know well-meaning parents of well-meaning children who are extremely lonely for their children. I want to help those well-meaning children open their eyes and hearts so they can see what they are currently too preoccupied to see. I want to encourage them to make stronger connections before it is too late, both for their own sakes and for the sakes of their hurting parents. At the same time, I want to be compassionate toward children who want to be close to their parents in certain ways and simply can’t do that because of their parents’ choices. I hope my sentiments comes across as clearly and compassionately as I mean for them to.

When Christmas carols tell of those longing to be “home for Christmas,” some parents are longing for their children to long to be home for Christmas while some children are longing for a safe home to come home to. I am sure of one thing: God wants us all to be one in Christ and to live in a way that glorifies Him like Jesus does. Christmas is a good time to do what we can do to make that happen. The passage above from Romans 12 gives us details that can help us love our families better at Christmas and all year through.

This is my part 2 to my post Loving Your Mom and Dad at Christmas. Family unity honors God. One person can’t make a family unified. One person can only do what that one person can do, but it is important to God that he or she do that. When the baby Mary laid in a manger grew up, He prayed:

I do not ask on behalf of these alone,
but for those also who believe in Me
through their word;
that they may all be one;
even as You, Father, are in Me and I in You,
that they also may be in Us,
so that the world may believe that You sent Me.
John 17:20

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