A Present for Your Children

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My mother had a doctor’s appointment last Monday. The nurse did her usual check of vital signs. The doctor came in. He used his stethoscope in the usual ways. Mother sat with her head bowed, as she does a good part of the time now. When the doctor got her attention and spoke directly to her, she picked her head up enough to look up at him and smile. Her answer to every medical question, no matter who asks it, is, “Fine” or a smiling nod of her head. She gave the doctor her usual answers.

Mother’s doctor has been our friend for almost twenty-five years. During the visit, he alternated between looking at her and looking at me. Since Mother’s hearing is so weak and because she sat with her head bowed, he felt free to talk to me, as if we were the only ones in the room. He told me, as he does every time, that nothing has changed with Mother except her steady decline. Together we decided to stop one medicine that isn’t essential and might even be doing some harm. He assured me that he is staying informed of her bloodwork and that if he sees any way to help her more, he will do it.

Throughout the visit our friend continued looking at Mother and looking at me. I am confident that he didn’t see anything in me that he believed he needed to address from a medical standpoint. I was my usual energetic self. If he saw anything, it must have been emotional, and perhaps physical, fatigue in my eyes. He talked on and on about me.

“The best thing you can do for your mother is to take care of yourself,” he said. He told me that the care I give one person mustn’t bring me down to the point that I can’t be available for the other people in my life.

I have been thinking about my friend’s words ever since. This morning I realized that it was a wise message to give to you, too. Please take care of yourself. Give yourself permission to take care of yourself. It is a precious gift you can give to your children and to all of the people you love.

Jesus gave His disciples permission to rest. Rest. It is one more way you can obey and honor God.

The apostles gathered together with Jesus;
and they reported to Him all
that they had done and taught.
And He said to them,
“Come away by yourselves to a secluded place
and rest a while.”
(For there were many people coming and going,
and they did not even have time to eat.)
They went away in the boat
to a secluded place by themselves.
Mark 6:30-32

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