A Word That Is Hard to Say

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Some words are just hard to say: amidst, insists, isthmus, Worcestshire. There is one word that used to be very easy to say when we were toddlers, but can be hard to say when we are all grown up. That word is no.

I don’t know exactly when saying no gets to be difficult. I do remember that when I was a teenager, there were occasions when someone would call to ask me to do something that I didn’t want to do. Sometimes I would cover the mouthpiece of the phone (our one phone in the house which hung on the wall beside Mother’s sewing machine) and ask Mother please to tell me no so that I could tell the caller that she said no because I didn’t want the caller to think I was the one who was saying no. How’s that for passing the buck?

Saying no gets a little easier when we become mothers of toddlers. We can even say it two times in a row. “No, no, Liam, get down out of that chair.” “No, no, Emma, that’s hot!”

Our trouble with this little word reaches a crescendo, I think, when our children are teenagers. That can be a time when our children bombard us with reasons why we should not speak the word. It’s a time that we second guess the wisdom of saying no and when we worry about the consequences of saying it.

Just at the time when we are teaching our children that they should say no, we have trouble saying it to them. We want them to say no even when it is hard, but at the same time we have trouble saying it to them when it’s hard for us.

Just at the time we want our child to say no even if he feels like the only one — in the youth group or in the co-op or in the whatever — who is saying no, we have trouble feeling like the only parent who is saying no. Ah, that peer pressure — it doesn’t end when we grow up, does it?

Sometimes our children can be so convincing with their arguments. Sometimes they seem so wise. That’s one of the times when it’s especially hard to be the grownup and say no when we need to. If we aren’t careful, we start listening to our own insecurities. We become weak when our children need us to be strong.

It’s so hard to say no when someone we love so much is begging us. I think our sons sometimes beg with argument and our daughters with tears.

We have a heavenly Father Who is strong and Who was willing to say no to His only Son — even when His Son’s wisdom was perfect, even when His Son’s every desire was pure. God said no even when it broke His heart to do so. Yes would have been the easiest answer in the short term, but God always sees what needs to happen in the long term and does just that — no matter how hard it is to say no.

In the days of His flesh, He offered up both prayers and supplications
with loud crying and tears to the One able to save Him from death,
and He was heard because of His piety.
Although He was a Son,
He learned obedience from the things which He suffered.
And having been made perfect,
He became to all those who obey Him the source of eternal salvation.
Hebrews 5:7-9

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