How to Talk and How to Listen

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Ray and I were engaged and married in 1974, long before texts and emails. During the last few months before our wedding, Ray was in graduate school at the University of Kentucky, while I finished up at Middle Tennessee State University four hours away. He lived alone in the one-bedroom apartment we would soon share. My friend Allison and I lived in an upstairs apartment in an old house near MTSU. Ray and I had two ways to communicate: handwritten letters (mailed with 10-cent stamps) and long distance telephone calls.

Talking on the phone was a stationary activity. The age of cordless phones had not arrived. Phone conversations happened in one spot. Our connection went like this: receiver in hand, cord from receiver to phone, cord from phone to phone jack in the wall. Our conversations happened after 9:00 p.m., when the rates for long distance were cheaper than in the daytime. Down here in South Central Bell territory, long distance charges applied to any call beyond the county line. Even with the rates lower after 9:00 p.m., Ray and I still managed to rack up a $150 bill one of those months. That was a chunk of money at a time when my parents were giving me $10 spending money a week. Ray’s parents gave him $10 a week during college, too, plus Hostess® Zingers to snack on.

I don’t suppose we sent a single picture in those letters. Pictures took some effort, too. When I wanted to take a picture with my Kodak Instamatic, I popped a film cartridge into the camera, attached a disposable 4-sided flash cube if the photo was indoors, snapped the photo, waited until I had used up the 12 or 20 exposures in the cartridge, took the cartridge to a drug store to be sent off for developing, picked up the prints a few days later, and saw how they turned out. Here are some results of that seven-step process, one of Ray as we left for our honeymoon and one of me on our honeymoon.

The gift of communication is one of God’s many loving gifts. He loves us so much that He has even taught us how to communicate. His lessons show us just how to use this wonderful gift with husbands, children, friends, brothers and sisters in Christ, and everyone.

He teaches us how to listen.

Now therefore, my sons, listen to me,
And pay attention to the words of my mouth.
Proverbs 7:24

The way of a fool is right in his own eyes,
But a wise man is he who listens to counsel.
Proverbs 12:15

A wise man will hear and increase in learning,
And a man of understanding will acquire wise counsel . . .
Proverbs 1:5

He whose ear listens to the life-giving reproof
Will dwell among the wise.
Proverbs 15:31

Listen to counsel and accept discipline,
That you may be wise the rest of your days.
Proverbs 19:20

Listen to your father who begot you,
And do not despise your mother when she is old.
Proverbs 23:22

He teaches us how to speak.

There is one who speaks rashly like the thrusts of a sword,
But the tongue of the wise brings healing.
Proverbs 12:18

Listen to counsel and accept discipline,
That you may be wise the rest of your days.
Proverbs 19:20

Righteous lips are the delight of kings,
And he who speaks right is loved.
Proverbs 16:13

And my inmost being will rejoice
When your lips speak what is right.
Proverbs 23:16

Likewise urge the young men to be . . .
sound in speech . . . .
Titus 2:6-8

He teaches us to tell the truth.

For my mouth will utter truth;
And wickedness is an abomination to my lips.
Proverbs 8:7

Truthful lips will be established forever,
 But a lying tongue is only for a moment.
Proverbs 12:19

He teaches how not to speak.

But now you also, put them all aside: anger, wrath, malice,
slander, and abusive speech from your mouth.
Colossians 3:8

He teaches us when to give up talking.

Do not speak in the hearing of a fool,
For he will despise the wisdom of your words.
Proverbs 23:9

He teaches us how to know exactly what to say.

Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt,
so that you will know how you should respond to each person.
Colossians 4:6

 

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