“Don’t you look pretty!”
I had already noticed that Miss Johnnie Faye was wearing a soft pink blouse this past Sunday morning. She looks pretty in pink. Miss Helen was wearing a beautiful and unusual jacket which I have admired before. After church I overheard Miss Johnnie Faye say to Miss Helen: “Don’t you look pretty!”
With a smile and in a friendly way, Miss Helen responded: “I work at that looking pretty, don’t you? It’s getting harder and harder.”
When Ray and I were living in Mississippi, perhaps even before we had any children yet, a lady from a church a half hour away drove to our town once a week for several weeks to hold a class about being a good wife. I often remember things she said. I’ll start with the strangest one. She encouraged us to purchase pink light bulbs. That wasn’t easy in those days long before Internet marketing, so she even offered to order them for us. “Why pink light bulbs?” you may wonder. Because skin looks pretty in the light of a pink bulb. I did buy some then, but there hasn’t been a pink light bulb in our house for decades.
On a more practical level, our teacher encouraged us to look our best when our husbands arrived home in the evening. That isn’t something I can do since my husband works at home all day. For me, that means that I want to start every day looking my best.
“But shouldn’t our husbands love us and find us attractive no matter what we are wearing and how we look?”
Well, yes, they should, but I think “work[ing] at that looking pretty” is good advice. Opinions about what pretty is will vary from one mama to another and from one mama’s husband to another. I do try to look pretty for Ray, but I have come to a stage in my life when I also do it for myself. For me there are four main rules for looking pretty.
- One is modesty.
- The second is that looks should never be an idol.
- The third is that I try to cooperate with the way God made me so that I look my personal best.
- The fourth is that I want to bless people with how I look and not make them uncomfortable.
Every once in a while in the midst of encouraging you in your role as mamas, I want to encourage you as wives. When at all possible, our children need to live with their very own mama and daddy who have a great marriage. We can’t begin to control everything in our relationships with our husbands. We can, however, do some things. I think working at looking pretty is one that we can all do. Besides being good for our marriages, it is also a great example for our children.
She makes coverings for herself;
Her clothing is fine linen and purple.
Proverbs 31:22
That is good advice and something I struggle with due to time constraints. Lol. I race to get up before my 3 year old so I have my daily devotions time without distractions. By the time I finally get dressed and everyone else up and moving to the kitchen for breakfast, I forget to put on my make up. I do know that I FEEL better when I look pretty. I was once told by a pastor’s wife that ladies should always have their legs shaved for their husbands. That’s hard too, but I think the key is not to ignore yourself. Not only is good for a marriage, but it’s good for one’s own sanity in the midst of homeschooling chaos. It’s so easy to fall into a rut and let it all go. I think our mentality is different when we look pretty, maybe even better, hence better for our husbands. 😉
Great thoughts, Stacy. I KNOW it is hard with little ones.
I have been thinking a lot on the wisdom you shared in this post. I appreciate the way you laid out your four main rules for looking pretty and I especially liked “I want to bless people with how I look and not make them uncomfortable.” This is so good to remember. Thank you!
When I was newly married a lady I went to church with (a really wonderful example and great teacher) went over to an elderly member’s home to scrub her floors. Sandy wore a skirt to do this because the elderly lady thought that is what ladies should wear. Sandy didn’t want to make the other lady feel uncomfortable so she felt uncomfortable herself instead. I have thought so often through the years of Sandy scrubbing floors on her hands and knees in a skirt so she could both help and honor Mrs. Detheredge.
I love that! Boy are those days of thinking of others before self pretty much long gone! How many times have I heard or seen “get over it, this is how I am, if you don’t like it, don’t look my way”.