George Washington and His Mama
I don’t have little children underfoot these days. It may surprise those of you in the middle of that stage of life to hear me say this, but I miss those days and would love to live those years of my life over again. However, in my current stage of life, I am able to listen to books while I fix meals, throw laundry in the washer and dryer, and bounce on my rebounder. Hang in there. It isn’t nearly as much fun as having little children underfoot, but these are blessings and I enjoy them.
Not too long ago, I listened to a book about four men who had a powerful influence on the writing and ratification of the U.S. Constitution — John Jay, Alexander Hamilton, James Madison, and George Washington. I know. That sounds very nerdy, but history does fascinate me.
When George Washington went back home after the American Revolution, he intended to stay there. The men in his family had died young. He expected to do the same and was spending what he thought would be his final years at Mount Vernon with the people he loved. Young James Madison worked hard to convince Washington that he should come to the Constitutional Convention in Philadelphia. Though Washington cared deeply about what was to happen there and fully supported a Constitution to replace the Articles of Confederation, it took a lot of convincing to get Washington to agree. One of the reasons he gave for not going was that his mother was very ill. In telling about that, the author told that Washington gave that reason for not coming, even though he and his mother were estranged. George Washington estranged from his mother? If I had heard about that before, I had forgotten it. I was surprised and sad.
Not surprisingly, the root of the problem was money. According to information from Mount Vernon, Mary Washington was never satisfied with the amount of money her children gave her to support her. She asked her son George for money frequently. Her requests were both private and embarrassingly public. Though their relationship was strained, he did go to visit his mother shortly before she died. The visit was in 1789, two years after the Constitutional Convention. Washington was on his way from his home at Mount Vernon to New York where he would shortly be sworn in as the first President of the United States. After she died, the new government which assembled in New York City honored Mary Washington with five weeks of official mourning. The new president honored her, according to the custom of the day, by wearing a black armband for five months. Washington wrote to his only sister: “Awful, and affecting as the death of a Parent is, there is consolation in knowing that Heaven has spread ours to an age, beyond which few attain.”
I want to learn from the relationship between George Washington and his mother Mary. I think quite a lot about what kind of mother I am and want to be to my grown children. I’ve been watching elderly women for many years so I can learn how to “grow old gracefully,” as the saying goes.
God commands that children honor their parents. In 1 Timothy 5:4, Paul even instructs children and grandchildren “to practice piety in regard to their own family and to make some return to their parents; for this is acceptable in the sight of God.” I think Mary Washington made that responsibility difficult and unpleasant for her famous son.
I hope my children never need to care for me on a daily basis, but I want very much to be the kind of mother who makes that easy if I ever do. In Ephesians 6, God instructs children to honor their parents. Immediately after that, He tells fathers not to provoke their children to anger. This honoring business goes two ways. Of course, we must all do the right thing. Husbands must treat wives right. Wives must treat husbands right. Children must treat parents right. Parents must treat children right. However, we all know how much easier that is to do if the person we are treating right helps us out.
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
Honor your father and mother
(which is the first commandment with a promise),
so that it may be well with you,
and that you may live long on the earth.
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger,
but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
Ephesians 6:1-2