Mothering and Grandmothering For a Lifetime
The other day a fellow grandmother (I’ll call her Jane) talked to me about some conversations she has had with homeschooling mothers. She was sad to learn how little support some of them receive from their own mothers.
I was reminded of stories I have heard myself. A grandmother once told me that she told her daughter when she had children that she was not going to babysit her grandchildren.
Several years ago a homeschooling mother told me about wanting her own mother’s support when she gave birth, but her mother didn’t come.
I once heard about a mother who told her only child that she wanted her to move across the country when she grew up and that she wanted her to visit only once a year.
Nothing in my own heart helps me understand this kind of “mothering,” or I should say lack of mothering. Jane and I agreed yesterday that our goal was to stay as close as possible to our children and grandchildren.
Paul talked to Titus in Titus 2 about how older women should encourage younger women. Of all the younger women we should encourage, our own daughters should be the first.
As I listened to Jane the other day, I thought about you readers and realized that some of you may not have loving and consistent support and help from your mother. I am sad and sorry for you.
If your mother, and possibly her mother before her, have neglected the role of active mother of grown children and active grandmother, you will have to be the first in your family to be different.
As I said yesterday, somebody has to be first. I’m sorry if it has to be you because that means you aren’t getting what you ought to be getting right now, but I know you can do it. After all, you are a devoted mother, a heroine, and a pioneer. You’ve got the heart for it and that’s the first big step in the right direction.
Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior,
not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good,
so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands,
to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home,
kind, being subject to their own husbands,
so that the word of God will not be dishonored.
Titus 2:3-5