Ten Days of Blessings — Blessing 6: A Calm Conversation
Sometimes it’s easier to give directions, orders, and advice, than to have conversations where our children feel safe to reveal their hearts.
I think everybody wants to connect heart-to-heart with other people. Talking and listening are two great tools to make it happen.
When I have a joy or sorrow to share, I am picky about who I talk to. I want someone who is good at talking and listening and who has taken this verse deeply to heart:
Rejoice with those who rejoice,
and weep with those who weep.
Romans 12:15
In those conversations, I’m looking for a heart-to-heart connection. God was sweet to give us that instruction in Romans 12. Rejoicing goes with rejoicing and weeping with weeping. Nothing else will really do in those situations.
Calm conversations are opportunities to rejoice with a child or to weep with a child. Children deserve a mama’s pure and unhurried joy when they come to share their happiness; and they deserve her pure and unhurried sympathy when they are sad in little ways and big ones.
One of the prayers I learned in public school is from Psalm 19. We repeated it often.
Let the words of my mouth
and the meditation of my heart
Be acceptable in Your sight,
O Lord, my rock and my Redeemer.
Psalm 19:14
When the words of our mouths and the meditations of our hearts are acceptable in God’s sight, many parts of our lives are set in order — and we are ready to make heart-to-heart connections with our children. God’s word teaches us many useful truths for calm conversations.
Pleasant words are a honeycomb,
 Sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.
Proverbs 16:24Â
AÂ gentle answer turns away wrath,
But a harsh word stirs up anger.
Proverbs 15:1
A soothing tongue is a tree of life,
But perversion in it crushes the spirit.
Proverbs 15:4
Sweet words. Gentle words. Soothing words. That’s what children need — and adults need them, too.
Probably every mama learns sooner or later that big and important conversations can’t be forced. That reality is one reason homeschooling is so wonderful. You are more likely to be there when a child is ready to talk. In my experience, by the way, that time for teens and young adults is sometime around or perhaps way after midnight!
But every conversation doesn’t have to be one of those big and important ones. Homeschooled children have the extra blessing of having mamas who are available for the little conversations that happen at any moment.
Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth,
but only such a word as is good for edification
according to the need of the moment,
so that it will give grace to those who hear.
Ephesians 4:29
What a blessing that you reminded us of how precious it is to listen to our children. My most precious times are the car conversations or the post work, 10:00PM talks when my children are excited or just want to relay their day to me. I love that my big kids will sit on my lap for a second to get a hug then talk to me about “life”. Your blessing today was just that, Thank you!