Words: Too Many? or Too Little?
“Communicating is the key!” As I mentioned back in March, Ray and I sometimes sing those words to each other. Good communication skills are vital lessons for our children. A phone experience I had yesterday morning reminded me of that. I hesitate to describe it in detail because it is a bit tedious. However, the tedious nature of this conversation illustrates well the trouble poor communication skills can cause. My issue was simply a matter of preference but other communication breakdowns can cause serious problems in relationships. They can even be dangerous in some circumstances.
Our daughter was busy with birthday party preparations for our granddaughter, so I offered to order and pick up the three star-shaped party balloons she wanted for the space-themed party.
I called a local store that carries helium balloons. “Do you have any star-shaped balloons?” I asked. Expecting that I might have to call two or three stores to find them, I was thrilled that our little local store had them in stock.
“What colors do you have?” I asked.
“Blue, yellow, purple, and red,” the young woman replied. A combination of three of those colors didn’t excite me for our pink-loving granddaughter. “Do you have silver?” I asked.
“Let me go check,” she said. When she came back she said, “Yes, we do.”
“Well, I guess I could do purple, yellow, and silver,” I thought. Then, I asked if they had pink, which is our granddaughter’s favorite color.
“Let me check,” she said. I waited.
“Yes, we have pink,” she said when she returned.
“I’d like one purple, one pink, and one silver,” I told her while I thought, “Just right” and, “Why didn’t you tell me all of the colors at the beginning of the conversation?”
Do you ever point to yourself (like I do) with questions such as: “Why did I say that?” or “Why didn’t I say this?” or “Why didn’t I ask more questions?”
Do you ever point to other people (like I do) with the question: “Why didn’t you tell me?!” That can be the exasperating spoken or unspoken question for everyone from a child in potty training to a husband who is two hours late to a family who shows up to spend the weekend without telling you that their two youngest children were up all night with the stomach flu.
In an effort to communicate well, we wonder how much is enough to say and how much is too much to say. We have all likely known people who say too much and people who say too little. Both traits can make other people uncomfortable and, in worse case scenarios, both traits can even destroy relationships. Our words bless and our words destroy.
Communicating is an area of growth throughout our lives. The wise mama helps her little ones begin learning those lessons when they are young.
Anxiety in a person’s heart weighs it down,
But a good word makes it glad.
Proverbs 12:25
A person has joy in an apt answer,
And how delightful is a timely word!
Proverbs 15:23