Married Parents — A Gift God Gave to Children

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Many months ago, I met a hotel clerk while we were staying out of town. As mothers love to do, she told me about her three-month-old baby. Then she said that she also has a four-year-old, a three-year-old, and a one-year-old, and that her hands are full! Well, that goes without saying!

Then she mentioned that the three older children belong to her fiancé.

What has happened to marriage?

During Thanksgiving weekend, Ray found a 1966 Andy Williams Christmas Show on YouTube for my Mother to watch.

Let me introduce Andy Williams (1927-2012) to those of you who don’t know him — or who don’t think you know him. If you have ever been Christmas shopping or listened to traditional Christmas carols on the radio and heard a beautiful baritone voice singing “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year,” you’ve heard Andy Williams.

His 1966 Christmas special was sweet. Mr. Williams sang a duet with his wife, sang in a quartet with his three brothers, sang while his father played the piano, sang to his mother, and sang with family members gathered ’round, including his three young children.

I was thirteen years old when the 1966 show aired. Watching it last weekend brought back sweet memories and one painful one. I watched The Andy Williams Show often as a child and was used to seeing his beautiful wife Claudine Longet and hearing her French accent. Seeing them singing together and gathered with their children on that Christmas special reminded me of the sadness I felt when I heard the news of their separation in 1970. They divorced in 1975, the year their children turned 12, 10, and 6.

America was far from perfect in the 1950s and 1960s. That is because we Americans were sinners in need of a Savior, just as we are now. One thing many Americans did wrong in the 1950s and 1960s was feeling and acting with racial prejudice. One thing many Americans did right in the 1950s and 1960s was staying married and giving children the stability that marriage provides.

The reason I remember Andy Williams and Claudine Longet’s separation is that it was so shocking. In my childhood, I knew only one girl whose parents were divorced. I knew no one whose parents were living together without being married. No one. Not one single child.

Peer pressure can be a powerful force for evil, but sometimes it can be a powerful force for good. Children in the 1950s and 1960s benefited from the societal expectation that people got married and had children — in that order — and that they stayed married. It is what God planned for families, and researchers are now figuring out that His way is best for children. On average, adults who grew up with married parents are healthier, better educated, and better off financially than their peers who grew up without that blessing.

I do not in any way want to condemn people who have gone through the terrible pain of divorce. I know that situations vary greatly and are complicated. Those of you who have been through a divorce know the heartbreak it is for the couple and for any children affected by it.

I have known parents who have separated and, from what I knew of their circumstances, I just couldn’t see what other choice they had. However, those parents grieved over that decision. In fact, they felt exactly the way God feels about divorce, as He stated in Malachi 2:16: “‘For I hate divorce,’ says the Lord.”

What I want to do is encourage parents to stay married  and to honor and cherish each other in that relationship. I also want to encourage you to teach your children to seek the Lord’s guidance in whom they marry and to lift up God’s standard for marriage before them. They and you will be blessed if you do.

When Jesus talked to His disciples about the permanence of marriage, they had a hard time accepting it. They said, “If the relationship of the man with his wife is like this, it is better not to marry” (Matthew 19:10). But the truth is that God’s commands are not a burden, but a blessing.

For this is the love of God,
that we keep His commandments;
and His commandments are not burdensome.
1 John 5:3

 

 

 

 

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