Parenting Lessons from Almanzo Wilder’s Daddy
I have written before about the mothering lessons I learned from Caroline Ingalls while reading her daughter’s books aloud to our children. We can learn parenting lessons from James Mason Wilder (Almanzo Wilder’s father), too. When Ray and I visited the Wilder homestead near Malone, New York, in 2017, . . .
. . . we passed by the Franklin County Fairgrounds. Notice the United States, New York State, and Canadian flags. Malone is only 11 miles from the U.S. border with Canada.
Outside the fence was an historic marker telling that the Franklin County Fair had been held at that location since 1852, so this is location of the “County Fair” chapter in Farmer Boy, the second book in Laura Ingalls Wilder’s Little House series.
Laura described the frosty morning when the Wilder family dressed in their Sunday best (except for Mother who was going to help with the church dinner and wore her second-best) and drove in their buggy to the county fair. In the buggy were the canned goods and embroidery Almanzo’s sisters were entering in the fair. Mr. Wilder had taken Almanzo’s milk-raised pumpkin in the wagon the day before because the pumpkin was too big for the buggy.
When the Wilders arrived at the fair, it was bustling with buggies, wagons, and people, also dressed in their Sunday best. While Almanzo’s older brother Royal joined his friends and Mother and the girls headed to the church’s fairgrounds kitchen, Almanzo and his dad explored the fair together.
The following scenes from the “County Fair” chapter are excellent examples for modern mamas and daddies.
- When father and son headed off together at the fair, Mr. Wilder asked Almanzo what he wanted to do first.
- Almanzo saw some of his friends. He could have chosen to explore the fair with them, but he decided to stay with his father. Almanzo wanted to be a farmer like his dad when he grew up. What interested his father interested him, too.
- When Almanzo was frightened by the first mules he had ever seen, the crowd around the mules laughed at Almanzo, but his father didn’t laugh. He explained to Almanzo what the mules were and told him that he wasn’t the only one who was scared.
- Mr. Wilder admired the Belgian horses and said that they could pull a barn. When Almanzo pointed out that they didn’t want to pull a barn and that the Morgan horses they already had were strong enough to do what they needed to do, Mr. Wilder told him, “You’re right, son!” Talking about horses with his father made Almanzo feel grown up.
- On the day of the pumpkin contest, father and son went together to the place where judges would decide who would be the winner. During the tense scene while the judges decided, Mr. Wilder stood with Almanzo. When a judge put a blue ribbon on Almanzo’s pumpkin, his father clapped his hand on his son’s shoulder.
Like Mr. Wilder, wise modern mamas and daddies honor their children by respecting their desires. They are the kind of people that their children enjoy being with—and they enjoy being with their children, too. They share common interests with their children. They explain new experiences and reassure their children when they are embarrassed. They discuss things with their children and respect their children’s views. They go out of their way—even if it involves a long drive to town in a wagon the day before—to help their children accomplish what is important to them. They celebrate with their children when they succeed. Even with their many responsibilities, they have time for their children.
But when Jesus saw this,
He was indignant and said to them,
“Permit the children to come to Me;
do not hinder them;
for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.
Truly I say to you,
whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child
will not enter it at all.”
And He took them in His arms and began blessing them,
laying His hands on them.
Mark 10:14-16
Visit the Wilder Homestead with Ray and me in this video:
