Helping Children Interact Well with Others
I recently had encounters with two teen girls working for the same business. When I asked for help from one of the girls, she looked at me directly with a calm expression. As the conversation continued, her expression was sweet. My encounter with the other girl was simply a friendly greeting on my part. Her expression was very different. She didn’t seem to want to lift her face to mine. I’m not sure what it communicated exactly, but it was far from warm or welcoming. Perhaps she was uncomfortable with an adult she didn’t know, or perhaps she was unsure of herself. Her mother was standing close by, so I see no reason that she would have been afraid. However, we can’t read the heart of another person. Many causes could have contributed to her demeanor.
Many children and teens go through awkward stages. It is challenging to help them walk through them. We want our children to feel comfortable around other people, to interact with others in positive ways, and to make other people feel comfortable around them.
Teen girls in a high school chemistry class, October 1943.
Photo by Esther Bubley. Courtesy Library of Congress.
While preparing to write this post, I saw an article which encouraged Biblical counselors to make sure that their faces communicated the same message they were saying with their voices. The author expressed appreciation for her brave friend who helped her to see that her face was sending a different message from what her words were saying.
One important step in helping children interact with others well is to get to know your children deeply. If they are having trouble making other people feel comfortable, it may be that they are having an inward struggle that they haven’t communicated to you.
A joyful heart makes a cheerful face,
But when the heart is sad, the spirit is broken.
Proverbs 15:13
They need us to help them learn how to turn to God.
Why are you in despair, O my soul?
And why have you become disturbed within me?
Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him,
The help of my countenance and my God.
Psalm 42:11
Sometimes children don’t interact well with others because of sins such as pride or a judgmental attitude. Haughty eyes are a possible indication of these sins. Children need our instruction and advice about overcoming the temptation to be prideful or judgmental.
There are six things which the Lord hates,
Yes, seven which are an abomination to Him:
Haughty eyes, a lying tongue,
And hands that shed innocent blood,
A heart that devises wicked plans,
Feet that run rapidly to evil,
A false witness who utters lies,
And one who spreads strife among brothers.
Proverbs 6:16-19
Do you see a man wise in his own eyes?
There is more hope for a fool than for him.
Proverbs 26:12
One way to help children interact well with people of all ages is to give them positive opportunities to spend time with people of all ages. Children also need opportunities to serve people in need. They need help to recognize the needs of others. They need to learn to feel with others and to let others know that they do. They need to learn how to:
Rejoice with those who rejoice,
and weep with those who weep.
Romans 12:15
Sometimes the very best therapy for someone in need is an act of kindness by a child.
It is by his deeds that a lad distinguishes himself
If his conduct is pure and right.
Proverbs 20:11